Well, I sat down to write a post about love and looked up the Internet to find out what are people searching for. And guess what, the charts are hitting the roof about the search “How to get my Ex back?” To be honest, it filled me with a little sadness about the amount of people who are yearning to get their ex-partner back in their lives. So that’s why, I would like you to ask yourself this question “Why do you want your Ex back?” and sit with it for 10 minutes without any distractions of mobile, TV or the environment in general.
Do you want your ex back because they really loved you and treated you well and you were happy together? No, right? If that’s the case, you would never have broken up in the first place. So do you want them back because you feel deeply hurt by their rejection or because you did something so wrong that they could not forgive you and left? Or is it because you used to fight so much that you had to end the relationship but now you miss the good part! It could be a fourth and fifth reason but let’s talk about these three and some more relevant things.
Hurt by the rejection
If you feel hurt by their rejection and it has impacted your self-worth very badly, then please understand that searching “how to get my ex back” will only further hurt your self-respect because that’s your way of telling your subconscious that your value as a person is dependent on someone else choosing you. If you don’t get them, then will you label yourself as unlovable for the rest of your life? Or will you do the exact opposite and tell yourself that YOU ARE LOVABLE and it was just that the relationship did not work out? Keep this answer in mind and read on till the end 🙂
They can’t forgive you
Now, the second reason we mentioned above was that you did something so wrong that they could not forgive you? If that thing is cheating, then ask yourself why did you cheat and work on yourself regarding that reason. If it was something else, then try improving that thing (for your own good, and not just to get them back) and reach out to them with a sincere apology. Most likely, they will be ready to give it another shot if you don’t act desperate and you have really changed yourself in the best interest of both of you as a couple.
You were incompatible but loved each other
Third reason is actually the most common reason, which is that you fought too much and now you miss the good part. Now here’s the thing – the reasons behind this go way deeper than you know and understand on a surface level. When two people who love each other but can’t seem to make it work, then there are a lot of psychological and subconscious reasons behind it. It may look like that you fought over silly things; but in reality, the things which are affecting your relationship could be one or more of these:
Your attachment styles, love languages, subconscious fears and insecurities, the impact of your parents’ relationship on your psyche and your relationship with one or both of your parents. I have summed it up in two sentences but it takes time and effort to understand these concepts and finding which one applies to you and how to heal it. This is why Relationship Coaching has started to become a necessity because we are not taught these concepts in school or college. Now, if you miss the good times and your partner, then don’t lose hope. With a little help from a Relationship Coach and faith in your love, there is a good chance that you two can get back together and build a happy, healthy relationship 👩🏻❤️👨🏻
Heal the barriers to love
Now in all three situations above, and any other fourth or fifth or sixth reason of breakup, one thing which is the answer to “How to get my Ex back?” is that you have to understand yourself deeply. You have to become very self-aware of why do you need companionship? Because if it is to not feel lonely or for someone else to make you happy, then that is a recipe for disaster. Your partner’s job is not to make you happy. Their job is to make you HAPPIER! Your partner’s job is not to take away your loneliness. Their job is to share each other’s already happy lives. When you get together or get BACK together with someone from a place of feeling lovable, worthy and having a lot of self-respect, then that is what has full potential of converting into a fulfilling, happy relationship 💕💕
Become the star of your own movie, not a cameo in someone else’s
So, now let me get back to the one who I have kept waiting from Point 1 😄If your answer is that you do feel lovable despite the breakup, then be assured that your chances of getting your Ex back are quite high and if that doesn’t happen, then you will find love again and it’s going to be way better and way more beautiful than the previous one. But if your answer is that you have labelled yourself as unlovable and unworthy because of their rejection, then my dear friend, heal that soft part of your heart ❤️ Do it on your own or take help of a Relationship Coach. The breakup has a higher purpose of making you fall in love with yourself by building a life where you feel happy and worthy even being single and becoming the best version of yourself. And when that happens, then you will no longer be googling “How to get my Ex back?” because you will be too busy enjoying your newfound self-love, self-worth and an absolutely joyful life 🌸 And when you will be doing that while keeping your heart open, then the love of your life will bump into you on a random pleasant day 🥰
