Hurt by the rejection

If you feel hurt by their rejection and it has impacted your self-worth very badly, then please understand that searching “how to get my ex back” will only further hurt your self-respect because that’s your way of telling your subconscious that your value as a person is dependent on someone else choosing you. If you don’t get them, then will you label yourself as unlovable for the rest of your life? Or will you do the exact opposite and tell yourself that YOU ARE LOVABLE and it was just that the relationship did not work out? Keep this answer in mind and read on till the end

They can’t forgive you

Now, the second reason we mentioned above was that you did something so wrong that they could not forgive you? If that thing is cheating, then ask yourself why did you cheat and work on yourself regarding that reason. If it was something else, then try improving that thing (for your own good, and not just to get them back) and reach out to them with a sincere apology. Most likely, they will be ready to give it another shot if you don’t act desperate and you have really changed yourself in the best interest of both of you as a couple.

You were incompatible but loved each other

Third reason is actually the most common reason, which is that you fought too much and now you miss the good part. Now here’s the thing – the reasons behind this go way deeper than you know and understand on a surface level. When two people who love each other but can’t seem to make it work, then there are a lot of psychological and subconscious reasons behind it. It may look like that you fought over silly things; but in reality, the things which are affecting your relationship could be one or more of these:

Your attachment styles, love languages, subconscious fears and insecurities, the impact of your parents’ relationship on your psyche and your relationship with one or both of your parents. I have summed it up in two sentences but it takes time and effort to understand these concepts and finding which one applies to you and how to heal it. This is why Relationship Coaching has started to become a necessity because we are not taught these concepts in school or college. Now, if you miss the good times and your partner, then don’t lose hope. With a little help from a Relationship Coach and faith in your love, there is a good chance that you two can get back together and build a happy, healthy relationship

Heal the barriers to love

Now in all three situations above, and any other fourth or fifth or sixth reason of breakup, one thing which is the answer to “How to get my Ex back?” is that you have to understand yourself deeply. You have to become very self-aware of why do you need companionship? Because if it is to not feel lonely or for someone else to make you happy, then that is a recipe for disaster. Your partner’s job is not to make you happy. Their job is to make you HAPPIER! Your partner’s job is not to take away your loneliness. Their job is to share each other’s already happy lives. When you get together or get BACK together with someone from a place of feeling lovable, worthy and having a lot of self-respect, then that is what has full potential of converting into a fulfilling, happy relationship

Become the star of your own movie, not a cameo in someone else’s

So, now let me get back to the one who I have kept waiting from Point 1 If your answer is that you do feel lovable despite the breakup, then be assured that your chances of getting your Ex back are quite high and if that doesn’t happen, then you will find love again and it’s going to be way better and way more beautiful than the previous one. But if your answer is that you have labelled yourself as unlovable and unworthy because of their rejection, then my dear friend, heal that soft part of your heart Do it on your own or take help of a Relationship Coach. The breakup has a higher purpose of making you fall in love with yourself by building a life where you feel happy and worthy even being single and becoming the best version of yourself. And when that happens, then you will no longer be googling “How to get my Ex back?” because you will be too busy enjoying your newfound self-love, self-worth and an absolutely joyful life And when you will be doing that while keeping your heart open, then the love of your life will bump into you on a random pleasant day

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However, this excruciating pain has a purpose! It is a blessing! And it’s good for you in the long run! All this may sound weird to you if you haven’t learnt the lessons this pain was trying to teach you, but all these things are true. Here’s why:

The heart breaks when we were trying to get someone to love us, but they didn’t. Of if they loved us, they stopped and we found ourselves deprived of their love. In all the cases, we ended up feeling unlovable and love-deprived. And it happens because their love had become a reason for our happiness.

But the truth is, no one is responsible for making us happy! Period.
People can add to our happiness but the only person who has to create it for you is YOU. And the way we create our happiness is by loving ourselves and being at peace while we are single. We create our peace by not being scared of being alone. We love ourselves by taking care of our emotions and getting our life in order.

Self-love. What is that?

The problem is that while we are growing up, no one teaches us how to love ourselves, be at peace, and how not to seek anything outside of ourselves to be happy. Self-love is a concept which is alien to MOST people including our parents.

So, how is heartbreak good for you? Because when the heart breaks, then all the love which we have for ourselves comes rushing out of it and fills us up!
If it’s not making sense yet, try to visualize it and continue reading…

Now try to understand the physical visualization in the emotional sense. Till the time we don’t suffer a heartbreak, we keep looking for love outside. But after someone hurts us that much, that insane amount of pain makes us realize how we were losing ourselves in the process of loving another too much. We start to realize how we had stopped caring for our own needs and our own feelings while chasing someone else.

And in this beautiful process of self-realizations, all the pain which comes out of the heart when it breaks, converts into self-love!

Strong foundation for your next relationship

Now you find yourself on your journey towards creating your own happiness and feeling okay being by yourself. You learn to not diminish your needs and feelings for someone again. You learn to love and respect yourself. And when after going through the process of grieving their loss, you accept the possibility of welcoming love again in your life, you know that this time, they will only add to your happiness instead of creating it. You now know that no matter what happens ahead, they can’t take that feeling of strength away from you. And this, my friend, is the foundation of a loving, healthy relationship. With yourself and with that someone who will wholeheartedly want to be with you !

So, now you see why your heartbreak is a blessing! Take your time to feel the pain. Do not rush the process. But have faith, that you will come out of it happier and stronger

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